Having one’s story denied is painful. Over and over again. I was seeking safety and you let me down. I was seeking a break and instead you caused more pain. All I wanted was to feel safe on my campus again.
Silk, a lightweight materia A beautiful luxurious held by those of great stature from lords to ladies No question why a child would want to see a fabric of this caliber But this child decided did not want just a look When no one was washing, he took this fabric into the washroom He draped the shimmering cloth along the wall where he tugged at all the edges Stretching the seams, tense The durable cloth remained strong but the pressing and prying was far too much Small tears traced edge to edge Rip... rip... rip The tiny sewn on pearls fell delicately to the floor One after another they dropped But only until he was satisfied and finished did his proding cease The torn silk that was once whole, was dusted, wiped down, and folded messily The boy ran before a seamstress could see what he done to the silk But the tear was still there Episodically I remember that night My body shakes, my eyes flood with tears, my chest tightens Making it harder and harder to breathe But that’s only my first class Some days, more Some days, less Some days when I am talking to my mom about my day But most days I rely on the same procedure to get me through the day I leave class a bit later To not run into him I avoid taking certain routes In the chance he might be there If I see him, I hide
I had written this poem to express how I felt. But you did not understand instead you left me as I was scared. Terrified to leave with no help on campus. No help in my classes. You said I needed more evidence. That my feelings were not enough. But I realize now that the pain I felt was valid. It was enough. At the time I felt so isolated, so alone, so scared, and that’s ok. I had been deeply hurt. I had to learn how to fend for myself because my story was not enough for any action to be taken to ensure my safety and that was really hard. It made me think I was overreacting that I had no reason to fear for my life every time I left my dorm but I realize now my feelings are valid. That was and still is some days real.