Survivor Stories: Nay

Nay is our second Resident Survivor Contributor. She thought she was fully healed until she started digging deeper. Right now she is in the process of seeking professional help again. There’s nothing wrong with setbacks in your healing process. To fully heal we have to go through all the hurt and pain all over mentally. Nay wants survivors to remember to trust the process and not give up.

We understand that some of Nay’s story may be difficult to read and encourage readers to call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or chat with them online (here), if needed. We also encourage readers to develop a self-care plan.

  1. The Night That Changed My Life. As a child, Nay never knew someone she trusted and loved could hurt her in the worst way ever. Her rapist lived with her and she was around him a lot. In this video, Nay talks about that horrible night.
  2. Reactions of Others. Nay wrote down her feelings about how people treated her and reacted to her. She provides her thoughts on how victims are sometimes treated. She knows first hand because she’s been through it.
  3. My Darkness | Depression. Nay shares her experience with depression and how she blacked out her experience with sexual abuse. After years of “forgetting” about what happened to her – she realizes she had to come face to face with it all. This entry is in a two-part installment: Part 1, Part 2.
  4. Sexual Abuse Aftermath. In this video, Nay answers questions about the abuse she experienced and how she coped with it.
  5. My Mother’s Point of View. Nay sits down with her mother to ask her some questions regarding Nay’s childhood sexual abuse. The questions were hard but Nay wanted to see how it impacted her mother because so many mothers have been through the same thing.
  6. Still Healing. Nay answers questions about her healing process.
  7. He Came To My Job. When Nay’s abuser first came home, she had to face him, by herself, at her job. It was one of the scariest moments of Nay’s life.
  8. Hurt People, Hurt People. The cycle of violence needs to be broken and, as a society, we must get to the root of the issue. In this video, Nay talks about how hurt people, hurt people.
  9. What Is Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS)? In this video, Nay discusses Rape Trauma Syndrome.
  10. Let’s Talk About Substance Abuse. In this video, Nay discusses how sexual abuse can sometimes lead to substance abuse.
  11. Repeated Sexual Abuse. In this video, Nay explains to readers that, unfortunately, some individuals can experience repeated acts of sexual abuse.
  12. Children with Disabilities. In this video, Nay brings awareness to the issue because she feels that sometimes people live with the belief that people always have these children’s best interest at heart. Unfortunately, that is not always the case.
  13. Pain | Raw and Uncut. In this video, Nay discusses how bottled up pain and emotions can be toxic for anyone. She has learned to pray more as she grows and heals and is slowly learning how to let go.
  14. Sexual Abuse | Impact on Men. In this video, Nay brings awareness to the myth that men who are assaulted become gay as a result.
  15. Can Women Sexually Abuse Men? (Yes). In this video, Nay discusses how anyone, regardless of gender, can be a perpetrator or survivor of sexual violence.
  16. How Can We Heal? This video reminds viewers that healing is a journey and letting go of things is how we move forward.
  17. What Is Helping Me Heal? In this video, Nay notes that healing is a precious thing. Healing is needed to fully reach your best self. Healing isn’t easy but it’s needed.
  18. Getting Through Flashbacks. This video discusses one of the ways trauma affects many survivors: flashbacks.
  19. Sexual Abuse Impact. In this video, Nay asks if the abuser knew how much pain it would cost their victim, would they still go through with it? Heartache and pain is what the victim/survivor has to deal with, it can be too much to bare.
  20. Why Not Believe The Victim? Nay brings attention to the fact that survivors have either heard of or personally experienced not being believed when they tell their stories. She wants survivors to remember: they are brave, it’s not their fault, and they are strong!
  21. Let’s Talk About Forgiveness, Who Is It For? Here, Nay focuses on forgiveness and whether it serves the person doing the forgiving or the person being forgiven.
  22. Family Secrets. “What goes on in this house stays in this house” is a toxic behavior so many have experienced. In this video, Nay discusses how secrets, lies, betrayal, hurt and pain can ruin a household.
  23. Know Your Worth. Nay reminds viewers the importance of knowing their worth and how knowing one’s worth can help as you grow and heal. 
  24. Things I’ve Learned | Self Reflection. In this video, Nay talks about the things she’s learning about herself – good and bad, and self-reflecting through it all.  
  25. Sharing Your Traumas. Here, Nay acknowledges how difficult it can be to talk about past traumas.
  26. Bystanders. Nay brings attention to the many ways we can help prevent someone from being hurt. She acknowledges that it can be hard to step up, but reminds us that we should take action where possible.
  27. Rape Related Pregnancies. In this video, Nay discusses rape-related pregnancies. We understand that this video may be difficult to watch and encourage readers to call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or chat with them online (here), if needed.
  28. Signs of Child Abuse. Nay educates and reminds viewers about the signs of child abuse. 
  29. Let’s Talk: Human Trafficking. Here, Nay brings awareness to sex trafficking. 
  30. Justice System: Victims vs. Offenders. In this video, Nay speaks on how victims/survivors are treated in the justice system. 
  31. Growing Pains | Incest. Here, Nay discusses a tough and uncomfortable topic. 
  32. Military Sexual Abuse Awareness. In this video, Nay discusses military sexual abuse. Believing that the people that serve our country should be safe from their own peers, Nay supports survivors of military sexual trauma. 
  33. Bribery Awareness. Nay sheds light on how bribery can be a tool of sexual abuse. She reminds viewers that consent is absent where it is obtained by a bribe. 
  34. Marital/Spousal Rape. A relationship title does not excuse sexual abuse. 
  35. Compensation For Your Trauma. Trauma can change us, and healing is necessary. However, there’s no time frame for healing. In this video, Nay encourages survivors to be gentle with themselves through their healing journeys.