Maybe It’s My Fault

NOTE: Michelle wrote this while still in the victim mentality about how it feels to have some constantly invading your space… to the point where it starts to feel like maybe you’re the problem. Violence is never the victim’s fault.

I feel naked. But I’m not.

I don’t want to be seen.but I do.

So maybe it’s my fault

It’s my fault that the fire in my belly

Burns too low to let out the anger and frustration I really feel

So I smile and I laugh and when someone crosses the line I’m helpless

He lied on top of me and I was helpless

He held me down and I was numb

I’m never strong enough

he put it in

I barely got away

The fire came but not in time

what’s done was done

my no meant nothing

Then again

he picks me up

He takes me out

He drives me home

But it’s all at a price

I gave no signs

I didn’t say yes

But you’re touching me

You’re on my neck

You’re rubbing my thighs

Touching me

I don’t want it

I never wanted it

Then again

I just met you

Exchanged very few words

I’m alone for two seconds

And in half of one you’re in my face

Violating my body

Pressing yourself onto me

I feel the space between us getting smaller

I can barely breathe

I don’t know you

I don’t want it

I’m scared.

I push.

You finally stay away

But it happened..

It keeps happening

So what am I doing wrong?

<Previous Entry

>Next Entry