Maybe It’s My Fault

NOTE: Michelle wrote this while still in the victim mentality about how it feels to have some constantly invading your space… to the point where it starts to feel like maybe you’re the problem. Violence is never the victim’s fault.

I feel naked. But I’m not. 

I don’t want to be seen.but I do.

So maybe it’s my fault

It’s my fault that the fire in my belly 

Burns too low to let out the anger and frustration I really feel 

So I smile and I laugh and when someone crosses the line I’m helpless

He lied on top of me and I was helpless 

He held me down and I was numb

I’m never strong enough 

he put it in 

I barely got away 

The fire came but not in time 

what’s done was done 

my no meant nothing

Then again 

he picks me up

He takes me out

He drives me home 

But it’s all at a price 

I gave no signs 

I didn’t say yes 

But you’re touching me 

You’re on my neck 

You’re rubbing my thighs

Touching me

I don’t want it 

I never wanted it

Then again 

I just met you 

Exchanged very few words 

I’m alone for two seconds 

And in half of one you’re in my face 

Violating my body

Pressing yourself onto me 

I feel the space between us getting smaller 

I can barely breathe

I don’t know you 

I don’t want it 

I’m scared. 

I push.

I push. 

I push.

You finally stay away 

But it happened.. 

It keeps happening 

So what am I doing wrong?

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