I Can Look At The Photos

3 years ago…if you had told me I could look at pictures of that night without being taken back to those moments, I wouldn’t believe it. 

Today I looked at them. I looked at the photos I took as I picked myself off the bathroom floor with shaking hands and a tear ridden face and made proof of what you did to me.

Today, I looked at them and I didn’t fall to pieces, I didn’t cry, I didn’t shake, I didn’t feel like screaming or dying or falling apart. 

Today, I looked at them and I saw healed wounds. I saw scars and signs of resilience. I saw strength. 

Today I looked at them and I felt grateful, for how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned. 

My heart is healed along with those scars. 

Maybe tomorrow will be harder, or next week or the next month….but today I felt bigger than those moments. 

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